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May 8th, 2000, 08:26 AM
#1
HB Forum Owner
SMALL TALK
These are the days of the absence of pain.
And I get up and walk away distracted
And is there anything to say to this
That I am the one that can't be touched
And doubted, wonder at the frantic pace.
Saw it all, where it was going
Didn't want to take that track,
And so I killed the conversation
Trying to explain
And being clear
Drew lines across
The lines that crossed my face.
And wandered out to find
A trace of something left
From when I felt the trace
Of fingers down my spine.
I found my heart exposed
And lying on the street
I pulled it open to examine
Found I'd lost the heart of me.
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May 8th, 2000, 04:08 PM
#2
Dano
Guest
Often when I read eris's poetry, I read it aloud to myself, and it makes more sense, plus a very definite rhythm becomes apparent, enhansing the whole thing.
*nods head slowly*
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May 8th, 2000, 11:24 PM
#3
HB Forum Owner
Thank you both. My stuff is definately better when read out loud.... That's part of how I compose, and decide what to keep and what to lose....
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May 8th, 2000, 11:33 PM
#4
HB Forum Owner
I like it Eris! Read it thru a few times. 
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- "How do you know the chosen ones? No greater love hath a man than he lay down his life for his friend. Not for millions, not for glory, not for fame... for one person. In the dark. Where no one will ever know or see." - Sebastion, Babylon 5
- INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
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May 9th, 2000, 03:09 AM
#5
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May 9th, 2000, 10:39 PM
#6
Inactive Member
that is really good eris. I like the shift in the voice and everything about it. To reiterate dano, it does have a good rythm to it. I like it. Keep up the good work.
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There's loneliness in the radios...
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